It’s easy for people to dismiss these claims with an eye roll or a ‘here we go again’ response, but this ignores the very real truth of how black people have historically been sexually objectified and fetishised. It’s not just our bodies one guy who I spoke to over the phone said he was disappointed because my voice didn’t sound as he had expected – I didn’t have a ‘Hackney’ accent. There’s also this assumption that black guys are always a ‘top’ during sex (the penetrative partner) – which is just another stereotype. This is just a small fraction of the types of unsolicited messages I receive and if I don’t live up to this fantasy of being a hypersexual black stud with a big dick, I am immediately rendered dispensable and stop hearing from them. Other examples include: ‘I’m craving a black guy or a group of black guys’ ‘I’m in my car and fancy a big black c**k in my mouth’ or ‘is it true what they say about black guys’.
Often the first message I get sent is: ‘BBC?’ (which stands for big black c**k, a common phrase in the porn industry) or ‘hung?’. For instance, constant references to my gigantic penis – I don’t have one, but I’m black and so apparently it’s a given – is usually the focus of interactions.
